joke
13) Jokes of the day by Off the Leash Facebook
Comics adopted from Off the Leash Facebook, if you happen to know him/her, spread the words, if you don’t, happy and good luck!
12) Whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
10) No More Male Pallbearers
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
she wrote, ‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,
I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’
9) Husband and Liquor
Wife to drunk husband: From now on, if your lips touch liquor, you will never touch mine. What are you thinking?
Husband: Deciding: 18 year old scotch or 36 year old lips….
8) Boss comes 1st
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk..
‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world.’ Poof! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep.
‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.’ Poof! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
7) 2 choices
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes or no.
6) I am dying
Husband sms wife:”Hi, what r u doing Darling?”
Wife: I’m dying!
Husband: jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart,
How can I live without U?”
Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”
Husband: “Bloody English Language!
5) Difference between Mother & Wife
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
Ans – One Woman Brings you into this world crying…
& the other ensures you Continue to do so.
13) Toy Song
I am a naughty, jumpy monkey
I live in the air swing here and there
I take charge of this little airy corner
Receive the charming wind and the freshly air
I am the dancer of this family
My role of that is bringing on a cheerful smile and giving joy
I am a chubby, cute Koala bear
I live in foliage climbing here and there
I take charge of this greenery corner
Receiving the sun ray and the dew
I am the gardener of this family
My role of that is giving oxygen and bringing out a blissful face
I am
I am a clumsy food expert Hippo
I live in the kitchen serving here and there
I take charge of this little F&B corner
Providing salts and pepper
I am the food reminder of this family
My role of that is advising healthy life style and providing energy
I am a rest and relax kitty
I live in the library rack serving books for reading
I take charge of the library management
Receiving and dispatching books in and out
I am the almanac of this family
My role of that is providing knowledge and directory
We all live under one roof
We have different role to play
Regardless of breed or age
We obey the rule of the family
To be compromising and forgiving
To live in perfect harmony
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