Jokes / 笑话
9) Husband and Liquor
Wife to drunk husband: From now on, if your lips touch liquor, you will never touch mine. What are you thinking?
Husband: Deciding: 18 year old scotch or 36 year old lips….
8) Boss comes 1st
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk..
‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world.’ Poof! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep.
‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.’ Poof! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
7) 2 choices
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes or no.
6) I am dying
Husband sms wife:”Hi, what r u doing Darling?”
Wife: I’m dying!
Husband: jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart,
How can I live without U?”
Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”
Husband: “Bloody English Language!
5) Difference between Mother & Wife
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
Ans – One Woman Brings you into this world crying…
& the other ensures you Continue to do so.
4) Problem and Picture
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
3) What kind of shooter you are ?
A LION suddenly bounced on husband.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Husband: Yes, Yes. I’m changing the battery of my camera..
2) Throwing knives on wife’s picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her “Hi, what r u doing?”
His honest reply, “MISSING U”
Wife was very happy!
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